The Millionaire Matchmaker and the “Masculine Energy Female”


On a recent episode of the show The Millionaire Matchmaker called “Opposites Don’t Attract”, the famous matchmaker to the millionaires, Patty Stanger, finds herself tackling what she sees as a challenging female client exuding masculine energy. That female client, Leah, a successful founder and CEO of a female clothing line Married to the MOB, visually looks to be quite stereotypically feminine. Her looks show that she takes care of her appearance. She has styled long hair and wears associatively feminine clothing that show off her womanly figure, as seen throughout the episode. However, she is seen as displaying female masculinity through her dominant personality and behavior. She is a woman who isn’t afraid to take the lead and is very aggressive when it comes to what she wants. She openly likes to talk about sex, something that is perceived as a very unlady-like thing to do. Patty, who seems appalled by Leah’s sex talk and “abrupt” aggressiveness makes it very clear that this masculine side of hers is not beneficial in a heterosexual relationship and needs to be abolished if she ever wants to find a man. Patty tells Leah to decrease, what she calls, her “masculine energy” and let her “feminine energy” prevail, something that Patty thinks will help her inevitably land that “Mr. Right.” Patty advises Leah to “find the vagina and put the penis away” and sit back and let the man do all the work. She attempts to diminish Leah’s “take-charge” mentality when she does not allow for her to plan her date, something she fundamentally believes is the man’s job to do. Patty suggests that if Leah fails in toning down her masculine behavior then she will not get a masculine man. She claims, “a masculine energy female will get a feminine energy male.” What do you think? Can it be possible for a masculine man to desire a masculine woman without compromising his masculinity?

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2 Responses to The Millionaire Matchmaker and the “Masculine Energy Female”

  1. Deborah says:

    I find the whole “matchmaker” thing weird and offensive in itself. For one, it’s totally heterocentric, especially when you throw in the fact that people like Leah are portrayed as bad candidates for a heterosexual relationship just because they don’t fit some arbitrary standard for their gender. Then there’s just the fact that it supports the idea that people can’t be strong individuals unless they’re in a relationship, but that’s a whole ‘nother post!
    I totally disagree that women’s ‘masculine energy’ needs to be abolished in order for them to have good relationships with men. For one thing, it’s synonymous, in my mind, to saying, “don’t be yourself and someone might love you” – how damaging!
    And, though I think it might be a certain “type” of guy who goes for women like Leah (just as it’s a certain type of guy who goes for the hyper-feminine pin-up doll), I don’t think it compromises his masculinity at all.
    Thanks to Natasha’s post about The L Word’s Shane, my mind actually goes back to an episode where her straight, very masculine, very good-looking roommate professes his love for her, a very gay, ‘masculine-energy’ woman. Though his love for Shane was unrequited (which could be argued to be emasculating in itself), this fellow’s masculinity remained pretty much intact. It turned out he just liked this girl because of who she was. Lovely!

  2. meinad8 says:

    This post reminded me of my CDD post. Such strict prosctiptions for love! How will we ever manage to get it right? This kind of thing makes me feel anti-social.

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